How should I deal with family drama

2016-06-28 19:39
My mom and her 3 other sisters (my aunts) never really got along ever since my mom remarried this guy who has no life what so ever. He uses my mom for money and asks every family member for money so he can buy drugs . He's been to jail many times but my mom keeps going back to him. My mom is isolated from the family because of him. My grandparents don't like him either and they've tried to separate them many times. It's gotten so bad to the point that my mom couldn't pay the bills and my grandparents won't let her live with them. All our personal things are still packed up at my grandparents house. Plus my mom and my aunt got into a big fight a while ago which left a bruise on my moms arm but my aunt called the cops on my mom.. Which made no sense to me. And the other day my aunt texts me saying if we don't come get our stuff, they're going in the trash because their not a place to be used for storage. I didn't bother to text back.
I feel like I'm blamed because of all the stuff my moms done. How should I feel about all this. Right now I feel blamed and useless because I can't help my mom
First let me say it's not your fault sometimes as parents we never realize in the pain that we impact on our kids and as for children we always want to help our parents however some people can't be help no matter who they are I feel that your aunt has had it with your mom and her ways and that is understandable just remember don't blame yourself for any of it
What about YOU moving in with an aunt or grandparents. You need structure. Your mother is not acting like a mature adult. You are having to be the parent it seems. Quit worrying
It's never your fault, if you can hurt this guy or make sure your mom stays away from him because he is the sole problem. When she's arguing her side of why she stays with him don't sympathize with her at all. He has to go no matter what bullshit reason she has. Oh and when I say hurt I mean extremely injure him.
FWIW, develop your own relationship with your aunts. Ask to get YOUR own personal stuff that is being held at the one aunt's home -- perhaps you can find someplace to keep your stuff. Don't worry about your mom or her personal belongings; she's an adult & is responsible for her own decisions.
It sounds like you feel like you have to be responsible for your mom and that you're your mom's keeper, but YOU are her kid and SHE is the mom. It's time for her to put on her big girl panties and have her stand on her own 2 feet. Hopefully she'll realize what a deadbeat this man of hers is and kick him to the curb. You need to worry about yourself. You need to try and amend things with the rest of your family bc you did nothing wrong. You just got caught in the middle of your family and your mom. It's probably best you separate yourself from your mom and get in a stable situation like moving in with family and be taken care of and allow yourself to be a kid and not the adult for once and let all the worries you have on your shoulders go.

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