Youre having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours,

2016-03-18 19:06
not knowing their one of your friends. What do you do?
Everyone is entitled to their opinion .. And we all have idiocicrisies to be criticized about .. but .. If someone, in my company starts to criticize someone in a way that I know is untrue, or in a mean-spirited manner .. I would speak up and ask that exactly do they KNOW this about the person, or if they have ever had the opportunity to understand WHY the person they are talking about acts the way they do. EVERYONE has a story .. and if we all took a moment to try to understand the reasons why people we know act the way they do, we may understand it and be a little more accepting and tolerant.I would also point out .. that gossip (especially something that is drastically negative) is not fact ... and unless you know it's fact, don't try to display it as such. I don't particularly care to hang around with anyone who derives pleasure from other people's misfortunes. THOSE people are easily spotted, and I personally don't go out of my way to associate with someone who is so hard hearted.
Get up from the table, go eat somewhere else , while explaining you refuse to gossip about anyone. Explain to them you would do the same thing for them if the tables were turned (if it was happening about them). Be firm. They will respect you more than you can imagine.
You should mention that that's your friend and you feel uncomfortable hearing this negative discussion about your friend.
Sit quietly. Defend your friend if you know the criticism to be unfounded.
This is easier said than done, but you can try to let them know that its your friend and/or try to disagree with them without being disrespectful.
Tell them to change the subject or else you have to leave because they're slamming someone that's a friend.
Tell them immediately that they are allowed to think whatever they want about this person but you cannot participate because that person is well known to you and you respect them enough that you would not talk about them, so they can change the subject or you will leave them to discuss it without you.
You might feel uncomfortable at first, but I would say something......Tell them this is my friend, and I don't feel comfortable about this conversation. That should end it.
This happened to me before.. I said that's my friend even if you don't like her respect that I do and don't say that crap around me.. Then they all shut up :)

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